This morning, I am waking up to the idea that it is oddly rare to realize the depth of beauty existing within a moment, regardless of how stunning it may be to experience it.
I have a memory of driving up Flagstaff mountain in Boulder, Colorado with two of my best friends and my brother. We came to a lookout point that jutted out just above a thick layer of clouds. The sun began to rise over this seemingly endless expanse of clouds, covering our little island of mountain in a strange pink light. The air was dead calm - not even the faintest breath of wind stirred the stillness around us. Only the birds flying by and the banter of 4 young men still groggy from a lack of sleep accompanied the silence. I remember being genuinely amazed at the beauty of the sunrise, feeling a sense of divinity and serenity emanating with the heat from the sun.
This encounter may have lasted 15 - maybe 30 minuets, but it feels very strange to put a time limit on it now that it has solidified in my mind as a memory 4 or 5 years later. Just as grains of sediment are sifted through a sieve, time has sorted half a decade of beauty, sensory input, information, and relationships. This memory is one of the big ones that couldn’t slip through the holes of my mind. As I sit here in a very different context with very different people, I am struck by the real value it has to me.
It’s almost funny how naive I was to the significance of that moment as it was unfolding. I see it now as a celestial anomaly. Stars aligning, mountains in full glory, accompanied with some of my longest standing and most cherished relationships. When I hold this memory, it is polished and rounded, lacking much of the detail of its original form, but now fully useful to me as a reminder of God’s beauty and providence in my life. As I reflect on that moment now, I find myself wishing I could have been aware of its significance as it was unfolding. I wish I could have held on tighter, pressed in deeper, allowing the Holy Spirit to more fully unravel me.
I have hundreds, maybe thousands of memories just like this one. I have been gifted with them consistently throughout my life. The same cycle occurs over and over again - of witnessing, sifting, revaluing, and longing for a way to press in deeper. Today I am consciously choosing to walk in a deeper experience of the world. I am choosing to press in deeply to God’s presence in every moment that’s presented to me. This memory of a sunrise above the clouds is simply a messenger - an invitation to a life that is full hearted. God’s voice is echoing the very same thing he was speaking during the sunrise. Don’t miss this.